“Try to focus on the other party’s intentions and interests” I know this might be difficult for some and rather easy for the others, but strive to strike the balance between your IQ and EQ. Yes you have the position to correct your subordinate but you cannot do it in a way that it makes them want to smack your face. Jokes apart – choose the right tone and words. Always negotiate / confront by letting the other person know ‘’you are on their side’’ and if they grow then you grow. Be above vested interests, and be a genuine leader. A brilliant negotiation is not a fantastic sales pitch followed by a curve ball that might corner you to say yes, but a brilliant negotiation is when both parties go home and realize the deal couldn’t have had a more prolific outcome that it already did. Empathize and deliver.
2-Temporal distance : This one is my favorite. For someone who lives her life on to – do lists (I have ADD / Short term memory loss – eitherway I am fully aware of this weakness of mine and hence to combat it I surround myself with to – do lists to stay on top of my game) this is the distance that matters to me the most. I can trust my ability to deal with people and situations, but sometimes I end up being on the other end of the spectrum where I am too hard on myself. I might follow a deadline given to me to the T and wouldn’t realize / notice the outcome of my work and whether or not it is quality centric. Is that the battle you fight too? You need to feel connected to your task / project. And then you need to realize how long it would take you to realistically delivery it in optimum quality. Then you need to mark your own deadline (even if it requires you to speak to your boss and push the deadline a bit) and start breaking the task down in order for you to not feel bogged down. Visualize your task and ensure you have a goal in mind. Don’t be aiming in the dark – that doesn’t help anyone’s cause and only ends us wasting YOUR time. Feel more connected to the present and do not get distracted by the past nor the future. You have to optimize on your ‘’today.’’ Everyday before you leave for the day – ask yourself have you done enough for the day? Are you a step closer to meeting your goal? Were you productive?
3-Spatial distance: You have the most control on this type of distance. There is this quote that resonates with me : ‘’ When you look into someone’s eyes, it changes the entire conversation.’’ This defines the spatial distance. Why do your bosses ask you to meet with clients? It is not to meet a target. It is to make an impression, to look at them in the eye and to build a conversation / rapport with them. As superficial as it may seem, it works! In the new – age environment it is easy to get consumed by all the latest technology thrown our way – but the intelligent professionals are using technology for their upper hand. Skype with your clients if you cannot meet them, walk up to your peer and talk to them about your query instead of writing an email when you’re sitting a few rows away from them.
4-Experiential distance : Are you some – one who hates their job? Who doesn’t know what he/ she is going here? Who is just working to pay bills and participate in the rat – race? If yes, then you need some next level introspection. J If you’re a smart professional with an insight who has made good career choices and are genuinely learning and growing in their role – then bridging the experiential distance will come easy for you. It is quite simple – Imagine and experience yourself achieving a goal much before you have set on the journey of achieving it. Almost like the book ‘’The Secret’’ – Visualize you meeting the goal, getting your promotion, nailing that speech / pitch, bagging the biggest client. Visualize it and get a flavor of what Victory would feel like. Experiential distance is inter dependent on social and temporal distance. You need to work with people, everyone needs to be on the same page, and be a well-oiled machine to work seamlessly and meet your ultimate goal. Once you’ve mastered the art of bridging the 1st 3 distances, this one will automatically come to play.