When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see how you perceive yourself? Do you see how others perceive you? Or do you perceive how you want to be perceived?

A lot of people spend their lives trying to be something, losing sight of who and what they are and then feel completely lost and confused to be wherever they are. They end up being all over the place, far away from being calm or thinking rationally. Far away from being poised and structured. Immature enough to point fingers and be adamant about a point of view. Far too rigid to allow flexibility. Way too judgemental and pessimistic.

Whatever happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? Whatever happened to not judging someone and instead being empathetic to their inner struggle? Whatever happened to truly helping someone heal and become better?

Ask yourself what are you doing to be aware of your own self? How often do you look in the mirror to question your decisions and truly believe in the sanctity of it? How often do you check yourself without being rigid and biased? How often do you take a stance keeping all other perspectives in mind? How often do you do the ”right” thing? How often do you shut up and listen before providing your 2 cents?

Here are a few signs of difficult people. Is it you or a loved one? Recognize these characteristics and help them heal:

  1. They never apologize. These people are too rigid, have big floaty heads, and truly believe that they have all the prerogative in life to do and say as they wish. They might come across as wise, but wisdom is co-dependent on humility. There can be no depth if the latter is lacking. Wise people learn from others mistakes, hard working and educated people learn from their mistakes and dumb people never see their own mistake. Unless you are insecure and have lots of voids you are trying to fill, or are going through existential crisis – you will find it difficult to embrace mistakes for what they are without attaching it to the people who made them or defining them by the mistake.

2. They are in denial. When you see through their pain, depression, sadness, negativity – you tend to genuinely care about them and want them to be healed. More often than not you are faced with a lot of push-backs because your trying to help them is almost always misunderstood. Their only reply is ”I’m fine i don’t need your help”. Let it be known that ”fine” is not a feeling. You should feel great, fantastic, ecstatic, peaceful, content and/or happy. You shouldn’t have to compromise on the fact that the universe is waiting to give you abundance but you’re allowing yourself to clip your own wings and remain in a bubble, when in reality, the world outside your bubble will indeed not scare you at all, contrary to how you might think, but the world outside is actually beautiful, and waiting for you to live it, embrace it and savor it.

3. They come from a place of ‘judgement’. It’s hard to not be judgemental. Having a point of view is not wrong, but deciding that your word is final and your perception or belief stands true above all else, is a sheer delusion that makes you add weight to your own feet in the depths of the endless ocean we swim in. Judgements make your world smaller and smaller and tweaks the way you see reality. It makes you forget that everyone is human just as you are, and that everyone is projecting their own realities on each other. Judging makes your ego and head float up and your heart become smaller. You tend to forget about emotions. You tend to look at life in black and white when in reality life is jaded and just a spectrum of identified and unidentified colors. Having said that, one must continue to have a mind of their own independent of another’s opinion or stance, but it is quintessential to give people the benefit of the doubt and trust and believe in humanity to exist, even if every cell in your body fights this, you must never fail to believe that there is a ”reason” behind everything and you might not always ”know” it.

4. They care too much about what people think. A mind that is free from concerning themselves to point of views of the world, will truly be opening to receiving the magic of endless possibility, because their action is never about pleasing the world their actions are genuinely based on unconditional love, karma and the act of being true to their inner conscience. These are the same people that spew a lot of venom when they are angry – because they hold on to a lot of opinions and points of views of the world and care too much of how everyone else thinks. They lose sight of what is right and what is wrong. A harsh fact about life is as much as you are happy, not every will find happiness in your happiness, and that is when you see the real faces of most people. The point is never to judge them, but to release yourself from their opinions because it should matter, effect or command how you live your life as long as you are true to yourself and your conscience and you never hurt a soul in sanity or in anger.

5. They never accept. It is a daunting task trying to move a mountain isn’t it? Similarly, you cannot change life and all it’s manifestations and realities. You dont need to know why something happens, you just need to know that you need to accept and acknowledge it and make the most out of the situation. A soul should be nourished by what you give, not what you wait to receive. It is important for you to hear, accept and fathom what comes of life, but at the same time allow it to briskly flow off the shores of your soul without allowing it to become you, define you and change you to such an extent that you forget who you really are. In simple words, stay dettached from feelings because feelings are fleeting and when time passes by you’d realize that by your not being able to use your conscience when you should have, a lot of dirt is thrown around the room and relationships are left hanging on lose threads. People don’t change, people just grow. The inner conscience is always alive. If someone made mistakes, they correct them, but if someone made vindictive choices those characteristics are hard to correct.

Ask yourself – do you believe in the process of life?