You can only save those who want to be saved. Please have the misconception of saving their boy-friends, girl-friends, husbands, wife’s, children, provided they are willing to be open to receiving help. That’s the problem with half the people in today’s day and age – they’re bubbling up in egotism and soaking themselves up in it. They’re so conditioned to living a life by themselves, disconnected, detached, way too self-reliant, imbalanced and out of order – so they lean towards trusting no one but themselves. And more often than not, they dont even ask for your help. So why are you trying to save them?
I have been in this boat myself, and seen too many fellow passengers here who are always about fixing someone else. Love doesnt mean you go around fixing people. Don’t waste your time, energy, sweat, blood and tears on someone who doesn’t deserve it. They will not value you as much as they should if you feed them with silver spoons and spoil them with all your unwanted and under-valued attention. Now this doesn’t mean you mustn’t be there for him, or love them – but give only as much as is asked. Don’t spread yourself too much too wide, that they have to walk all over you and they take you for granted. You need to have self-respect. Protect your own energies. Draw a thin line and stay within it.
Sometimes people have their own inner battles and demons to face.
They need to untie the knots in their own heads. They need to fight their own battles. Our love for them cannot make us take their pain from them. They need to face it on their own. The only thing we can do is support them and be there for them. Let them know they are not and never will be alone.
This comes with self – reflection, self – realization and introspection. All they need is just the hunger the improve and learn. Never be complacent, always look towards self-development and being better than today. Those that are genuinely trying, are the ones worth helping. On the contrary those that are closed-minded, rigid, stubborn, negative – they need to first roll back into the journey of acceptance and gratitude.
They need to realize their own potential. They need to stop feeling threatened. Their ego needs to dissolve without tarnishing their self – respect, their feet need to come back on the ground. They need to be modest and humble. They need to stop judging. Every time they point fingers at someone, they’re filling their own insecurities at the cost of someone else.
My mother always told me ‘’if you cant say something nice, say nothing at all’’ – this works like a charm to help me control any negative thought or feeling. I dissect it, introspect it, let it go, and come back with words that can encourage a healthy conversation and dialog.
If you’re a man or a woman, stop looking for your knights in shining armors and start to save yourselves. That’s the 1st step towards acceptance. You cannot afford to accept and love anyone else until you can accept the truth that you are work in progress, and so is everyone else – but the least you can do is work upwards and focus on growing.
So dont try to be a superhero to anyone else, because at the end of the day we have the capacity to heal ourselves, and having someone else show us the way makes the process more and more delayed. My recipe to success is not the same as you. One needs to identify their own values, priorities, issues, pet-peeves and deal breakers to be able to be able to pick themselves up and find a way to heal. So go save yourself, atleast try.
Moral of the story : Be your own superhero. Be nice to yourself. Give yourself a hug. It all starts from there.