Trust Fincher to get us addicted to our couches.
We’re all sucked in the vortex of the show ‘Mindhunter’ on Netflix, and like you, I too have been intrigued by the show and how the minds of these sequence killers works. I almost hated myself every time Netflix taunted me with with a ”Are you still watching” but getting past that embarrassment and bing watching the entire show, I had to compensate for all that ”darkness” by watching a lot of stand-up comedy. I finally, have come to terms with a chilling and crippling realization about getting parenting right, and how quintessential it is to do so, so that you do not raise monsters. In this case, Literally.
Whether it’s the conversation with Ed or Monte, the common pattern to define the chaos running in a serial killers mind is to trace them back to their childhood days and/or (more often than not) their relationships with their respective mothers (personification to women).
“She knew all of my buttons because she put them there” — a line by Ed that validates the impact his mothers behavior had on him.
Children since their tender and young ages have no one else to look up to except their parents, grand parents and guardians. They listen to every word you say, they will copy you and repeat what you say, the way you dress, walk and talk. They do not know anything better than to believe everything you say. Even when you tell them they have monsters under their bed and that the monsters will come out if they do not finish their meal, it will continue to subliminally scare them for a really long time. If you are parents or want to be one some day, can you begin to imagine how scarring it is to be a child who had subliminal fears in their mind, because of a seed planted by YOU? You might brush this under the rug of today and tell yourself you scared them to toughen them up, but it is more than necessary to watch every word you say whenever you speak to your kids. They have the mind of a sponge and they grasp on to every thing, trying to make sense of it, and convincing themselves to their core to BELIEVE what you say, because it comes from you.
However, THE WORST – thing any parent can do is be a nagger and keep ridiculing and taunting their children. Your children are your responsibility and you need to face it even if you are going through a low in your personal life. Whether it’s losing a job, being ill, going through a divorce, whatever sadness, frustration and anger you might go through, your child doesnt deserve to experience it. You need to protect them as much as possible so they continue believing in the GOOD in the world. Now, some of you might think that is a deluded thing to do, and not real, what you need to know is the child grows up to go to school, college, work and face his/her own reality anyway, it is not in the parents place to harp their reality on to their children especially when they are growing up, because that to a large extent will compromise their reality. The child needs to get the support and foundation from the parents and up until they can manage their lives, is when they will start facing the world with that confidence you instill in them through their growing years. It’s okay to sulk when you get fired, but if you can come home and tell your child ”everything will be okay and happiness can be created so let’s roll up our sleeves and get back to work” then you have done your job well. But if you come home and feel lost, dejected and insecure and yell at and berate your kids, just know, they’re making subconscious mental notes about all this. Why? Because they look up to you, and will always seek your support and validation in every step of their way.