Growing up didn’t prepare us to deal with loneliness. Loneliness hit us in our faces at the most unexpected moment. For most, it was when they were uprooted from their comfort zone and thrown into a new environment. Some were lonely when they attached themselves to people, but didn’t get that love/attention/respect in return. Some were lonely when they were surrounded by many people, yet, felt a void. Something was missing and it bothered them that they couldn’t put a finger on it.
So they distracted themselves, and shoved the feeling under the rug of today, and faked a smile so bad that their face got stuck like that, so much so the world didn’t realize or even notice that the person was lonely.
Was this you?
Did you feel lonely in spite of being in a room filled with people? Did you feel disconnected, lost and confused? Did you feel like no one understood you? You might not have made it obvious. You might have laughed with them at their jokes but you actually were far from amused. You’d do a good job at not only deceiving the others, but also deceiving yourself.
Then there were those that couldn’t fake it. They were on the other end of the spectrum, they instantly realized they had a void, and that something was missing, and they drove themselves crazy about it. They didn’t laugh at jokes they didn’t find funny, they didn’t agree with people and follow a herd, they might’ve been different, they might be lonely but they accepted their current reality and ensured instead of sulking and/or masking their feelings, they will help themselves feel better. Feel less lost. Feel less alone.
There’s something very beautiful about these people –
…they’re empathy quotient is high. They never want anyone else to feel the way they do / did. So, at a party, if they ever saw someone feeling lost, they would make small talk with these people. The best part about them is they never judged anyone.
Loneliness makes us fill the void within us in different ways. Some become OCD, depressed or have some serious rage issues. These are just ways some people lash out and deal with their voids. Lashing out is their cry for help.
The grumpy and arrogant people, need as much saving as the other ones, especially because these people have inflated egos and bigger heads, so they usually float mid-air, thinking they’re surviving better than anyone else. But in reality, they’re merely projecting flawed inferences from their reality.
Bottom-line is – you’d either be surrounded by people you love, your family and friends, you’d be in your comfort zone. OR. You will be alone, almost lonely, but you’d have to remind yourself that these people are perhaps as lost as you, so nothing should stop you from friending someone. Don’t judge them.
Here’s the little secret – the purpose of our life, is to find a way to accept ourselves and others. The purpose of our life is to not only discover we have a void and we need to fix it, but it is also to be kind, sensitive and gentle to the people we meet in our journey. If someone lashes out at you, forgive their anger, forgive their hatred, forgive their deep deep pain, because only love can fill voids..
Our journey to becoming void-less, is our ultimate pursuit of happiness.