You are now a big girl, you’ve seen many sunrises and many sunsets. You’ve been protected in our arms, and we’ve seen you win and lose. We’ve seen you stand and fall. We’ve seen you learn and grow. We’ve seen you cry and laugh. We’ve seen you make up your mind and be confused…
You’ve made noise and tried to fly away. But you come back home, because this is where you feel most secure. Home is where you know people unconditionally love you.
We’ve tried to make you wise, we’ve tried to tell you stories about our lives, hoping that you learn from reading and listening, and refrain from making the mistakes we made. We just want to protect you from everything. I know I am a typical grand mother, a protective tigress, who is getting old but never too old to stand before my little girl and try saving her from any kind of pain in the world. I know ive seen more sunrises and sunsets than you. Ive held you in my arms from the time you opened your eyes. Ive raised you because you’re my blood, and ive loved you since I saw you. Ive shielded you from your parent’s anger. Ive listened to you snap at me when you’re not in a good mood. Ive always been there for you, because you are my weakness, you are my pride. If I ever see you cry, I feel this pain I cannot explain. You’ll know how I feel when you’re in my place.
But today, my dear princess, today is the day I remind you that you’re a grown woman now. Today you get into the world and make your own nest. I know you’re scared, I know you feel like you weren’t prepared, and/or that we didn’t prepare you. But take it from me, no one prepares you for this change. That’s the whole point of change. But I know how you can deal with change – you grab the bull by it’s horn, with all your inner strength.
As a child if you ever felt any emotion, we allowed you to explore it and understand yourself better, so we allowed you to pour it all out. We gave you the space to feel things, to grow. We allowed you to feel scared, to feel angry, to feel upset, to feel moody. We gave you the space to experience all this, so that you understand the mere fact, that feelings are fleeting, and you mustn’t let feelings govern you or define you. Then what defines you?
I assume you have figured most things about yourself. You’ve observed yourself, you know what you like and what you dislike. What your values and priorities are. You know the voice in your heart, and you know how to follow it. You listen to your gut, and it never lets you down. I’m not worried about you not knowing yourself, because you’re one of a kind, and i know you know it, you just need to continue to embrace it. All this while you’ve been alone, and you’ve developed this amazing relationship with yourself, now is the time to let someone else in. You were ”whole” but now it’s time to make two wholes one.
Now I know that may seem tough, but ill let you in on a trick.
You’re blessed to be a woman, and woman have ineffable strength. Most of us undermine our own strength. We innately have the power of patience. We have the power of being soft and kind hearted. We are the ones our families depend upon. We have the power of giving love… We are the ones who teach the world to give back.
So from now, get a hold of your emotions. Everytime you’re in a difficult situation, when things aren’t going your way, pluck your soul from that situation and observe how you’re reacting. Remind yourself that you need to control your emotion and not have knee jerk reactions, because feelings are fleeting. The anger, the jealousy, the sadness will go. Understand and comprehend the situation, and the people involved in the situation. Breathe. And look down. No ego, no anger, no frustration. Just listen, breathe, and look at the ground. Don’t raise your voice. Learn to listen to the people that are angry, and agree to disagree with them without much dialog, learn to nod and let them have their moment, and let that moment pass.
Being the bigger person is what makes us the stronger person.
By taking a deep breath and controlling your anger / extreme emotion, you avoid conflict. You avoid stooping down to their level. You become a strong human being by being in control. You have no clouded judgment. You remain in clarity. You empower yourself with control. And then when the moment is gone and the dust is settled, go back to the person and reason with them softly, rationally, patiently and with all the kindness in the world – deal with the situation. It’s easy to do, once you get a hang of it and do it a few times.
This behavioral change should not only make you strong but also make people trust you, respect you and depend on you. Don’t let anyone know of your weakness, and vulnerability. Celebrate and mourn by yourself, with yourself. No, that doesn’t mean you should be a loner, that just means that you are your own best friend. Have as many friends as you like, I know you and I know you are quite aware of the friends you make and how you let them affect your life. I know you’re not about the big groups any more. You’re happiest with your little circle of true friends. But the only sad thing about life is that we’re all alone, yet we’re all alone together. No one gets everything they want. We’re all fighting battles and trying to win.. We all have dreams and hopes and desires, so while we pursue them we forget to have a hold on ourselves. But that’s why I wanted to remind you – Be the stronger person, always. The world needs more of them. Be the person whom your world can rely on.
I know you have a mind of your own, ive seen you pick your favorite socks and dolls since you were 3 years old, but now is the time when you make conscious decisions and stick by it for life. You stand your ground, and for that you need to have solid balance and stable feet.
I wish you all my blessings my little girl. The only person in the world you can afford to be that little girl with, is me. Because if you let others see that little girl in you, even for a second, they’ll stop respecting you and / or taking you seriously. But that’s okay, you only need to visit the little girl in you once in a while. It’s time for this little caterpillar to metamorphose into a butterfly. What that caterpillar might think is the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
A woman is like a precious jewel, she needs to value herself first, in order to be treated preciously. It’s time to give back, all the love that you have inside of you. When you find it in you to forgive, and to move on, and when you discover you have a big heart, with infinite love, you’ll realize giving love back is the most fulfilling thing you can feel. Unconditional love.
When you find the things you love, don’t be afraid of losing them, strive to protect them and love them, strive to keep them safe, like I’ve kept you, so that they grow up to be jewels that were born from your efforts. And the happiness you feel then, would be priceless. Like I feel happy, when I see you shine.
All my love,